Base Jumping with Baloo

A resilient bear story.

Management

Every show has an event manager: someone who arranges and executes the event. They understand the unique needs of attendees, and often make "special" arrangements to accommodate those needs. They strike a balance between decorum and intemperance.

The Perverse Traverse has a renowned events Manager, called Baloo. Originally hired by the PT CEO, Baloo is now managed and groomed by a different PTer each year. The right to “baloo” is quite an honor.

Baloo 2021

A Baloo tag is made with the skier's name and affixed to Baloo's collar at the end of the season. Spike, Carnie, Red Dawg, CapSup, etc. are among these names. CapSup is the Baloo's host from 2020 to 2021; he looks quite happy and clean.

While off-season regimens differ, the mandate of Perverse Traverse CEO Welisch, aka JW, is simple:

“Bring Baloo back stronger and prepared to scout new adventures.”

A New Legend

Despite all the light, there was a dark moment in 2018 when Baloo failed to receive his owner's tag. It was in Vail, on a dark, snowy night. As recounted by the Tribunal, here is the story of this dark night.

The events of the evening started just as the Baloo expected. A gondola ride from Lionshead to dinner at Game Creek Club.

But Baloo had a few plans. First up, the snow cat. From the gondola exit to the door of dinner, the route to the Game Creek Club is aggressive. In the snow cat's front seat, you are certain someone else will be enjoying your dinner tonight as the snow cat jerks left and right; the twin Caterpillar diesel engines are pumping power to the tracks, but the hill and snow seem to be winning. With a smile on his face, CapSup says, “Hey Red Dawg, I believe Baloo has done this trip before, right?” I nod; he smiles.

At dinner, Baloo always has the spotlight, placed in the center of the table. JW hosts. We raved about Carnie's 50+ mph sprints down Riva's Ridge. Riva's Ridge is Vail's longest run at 4 miles and is named after the 10th Mountain Division. Or BowMonster’s mastery of Gandy Dancer, named after the Gandy Manufacturing Company, that made tools building the railroads and the railmen were called “Gandy Dancers.”

Toasts were made, legends were built, and the next Baloo handler was named.

BowMonster’s dominance of Gandy and bloodshed at hand of his Fasching made him the legend of the trip. He earned the solemn duty to care for Baloo. BowMonster’s rousing speech that evening even made Cap Sup tear-up. Baloo was in good hands now.

Or was he?

A Dark Moment

Safely back at the Gondola, the freezing Colorado air mitigated only by the lingering warmth of dinner, we line up for the ride back to Lionshead. CapSup, JW, AC, Carnie, Spike all climb into the cab, followed by BowMonster, cradling Baloo. Back to the house we go.

Upon entering the Gondola, BowMonster thought Baloo said, “base jump.”

According to CapSup, it does take some effort to appreciate Baloo’s dialect. It turns out Baloo said, “pump up,” not “base jump” but it was too late.

Intimidated by his new obligation to attend to Baloo, BowMonster acted on the “base jump” request as the doors to the Gondola closed.

Pushing Baloo out the closing door, Baloo’s leather collar got caught in the door. Hanging out the door, the Gondola continues to move toward the point of no return. The rails that guide the Gondola into final position catch Baloo and activate the emergency switch. The Gondola lurches to a stop, sirens blare, red lights flash. The only thing missing are men with guns.

Grinning like the Joker, BowMonster raises his hands in resignation, then quietly steps to the ledge of the Gondola entrance. The entire PT crew wondering what madness will come next. We stare hopelessly as BowMonster steps off the ledge. Spike grabs his jacket just in time. Secured by Spike, BowMonster releases the collar from the door and pulls Baloo to safety.

Red faced from the flashing lights, BowMonster says “can we go now, Baloo is tired.”

Onward

To this day, Vail operations will not let BowMonster on the Eagle Bahn gondola at Lionshead. And the PT Tribunal has not yet recognized his achievements with a "Bow Tag" for Baloo.

I am confident his tag will someday grace the collar of Baloo. Onward.